Yesterday, I had to take my mother to clinic, but in order to make sure she’s on the list of patients who’ll get the appointment, I had to be early so that I can write her name down in the list. It’s little bit weird, but this is how it works at the doctor’s place I was taking my mother to.

• You reach early.
• You write the name down on a paper.
• 10 minutes before, everyone stands in a line accordingly.
• At 6 am, the worker comes and he notes down the names of patients

Anyway, I left my home around 3 am and while I was on my way, I heard a puppy crying. I’m not quite sure if crying is a right word to use, but it felt like he’s looking for help. I went close to the place from where the voice was coming and saw him in the drainage. He was so small that he couldn’t come out of it. Since I was in hurry, I immediately took him out and left the place.

Next day, I was out for a walk after the dinner, it must have been 10:30 pm, and I saw the puppy lying on the road. He was surrounded by his brothers (the other puppies) and his mother was sniffing him. I knew he was dead, and I knew it was him. The same pup I saved yesterday. I was feeling heartbroken, but there is nothing I could have done. Yes, I could have adopted him when I took him out of the drainage, but as someone who is still trying to figure out his life and spends most of his time before his computer, I wasn’t the right person to adopt a puppy.

With hundreds of thoughts running in my mind, I was looking at the puppies. They were healthy. I wanted to pick one of them, but I wasn’t sure. A pup needs a lot of care and attention, and they were 2-3 weeks old.

The only doubt I had in my mind was - how am I going to take care of him if I bring him home? Anyway, I did bring him home. Felt like I was doing the right thing, but it’s also true that I’ve never had a pet before, so I was scared.

After bringing the puppy home, when I put him on the ground, he didn’t move much. He was quiet, still, and probably scared, just like me. Felt like he was observing everything, and since everything was new to him, he switched himself to a different state where the only thing which felt right for him to do was sleep.

I prepared a small and comfortable bed for him, and he spent the next 10 hours sleeping. The whole night, I couldn’t stop myself from checking if he’s alright. After every 20 minutes, I went outside my room to check if he’s sleeping well. Couldn’t bring him inside as it would have been much difficult for me then to focus on my studies, and since he was napping comfortably, it didn’t feel alright to disturb him.

Next morning, when he woke up. He was active as compared to the night. He was jumping all over, chewing everything he could, drinking a little bit of water, and eating beard. Watching him doing all these things made me happy. Felt like I don’t have to worry much, and he’ll be fine, but unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.

Whenever I went to my room, he started crying (again, I’m not sure if crying is the right word, but it definitely didn’t sound like he’s barking).

I spent my whole day doing nothing. I was with him, I fed him, cleaned him, and did everything possible to make sure he’s alright. I couldn’t study a tiny bit that day. He was so small that it didn’t feel alright to leave him alone, even for a while. I’ve never had a pet before, so I had no idea what should I do. I was confused. I wasn’t feeling okay, and watching him made me feel like he’s isn’t quite happy here. What if he was searching for his mother? All these thoughts made me emotional. I was feeling so much of the weight on my chest, that I couldn’t stop myself from crying. I’m not sure if it was stupid, but it just happened. That was an emotional day for me.

My mother was genuinely surprised to see me crying, so she said “If you’re getting this feeling that puppy needs his mother, go and leave him at the same place. The mother will find him easily. If you aren’t able to take care of him, don’t be harsh on yourself. Go leave him, he’ll be fine with his mother.”

It felt like she’s right about the situation, so I decided that I’ll leave him the next morning.

Fast forward, a few hours passed. It was almost 7 pm. The puppy woke up and started crying. I don’t know, but every time he did that, it made my heart heavy. I wasn’t sure what the hell’s happening.

I decided that I won’t wait till morning, so I fed and clothe him nicely. He spent the next two hours in my lap, nibbling the cloth, sleeping, waking up, and licking my hand. Most importantly, he was warm and quiet. That’s what he needed, but I’m not into this phase where I can spend a good portion of my time taking care of a puppy, which I’d love to. He was smol, and he needed someone with him.

At around 9:30 pm, I fed him some water and milk, captured a couple of pictures, and took him to the place where I found him.

Unfortunately, I didn’t find his mother, and I was in no mood just to leave him behind. I spent the next 45 minutes madly searching for his mother. I asked so many people if they’ve seen puppies here so that I can get the idea where she might be.

Later, I some puppies, so I followed them for a while. Since I didn’t want to be bitten by his mother, I decided to leave him with his brothers and sisters, and watch if the mother recognizes him, or he recognizes his mother. What a stupid thought, right? And yes, it was a stupid thought because the puppy ran to her and immediately started drinking her milk hahaha. It made me happy. I was still kinda emotional about everything, but that was the moment of relief. The smol boi needed his mother.

Fast-forward, I came home, went to the bathroom, and cried for a while just to feel alright about everything. I couldn’t control it.

Anyway, he was a good and talented puppy. He was comfortable playing with a football and jumping from the chair. He was the master of nibbling. A good boi. I named him Yoda. I’ll surely miss him, but it’s better this way.

What did I learn?

If you can’t take of your own dog, you shouldn’t have one.

There’s going to be a time in my life when I’ll adopt a dog, but at moment, I don’t feel like if I adopt a puppy, I’ll take care of him properly.

Anyway, I’ve decided to visit him daily. I know where he lives. I hope he recognizes me whenever we get to see each other.